


Constantine

by skivvysupreme



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:25:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3408830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skivvysupreme/pseuds/skivvysupreme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine meet an owl at the zoo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Constantine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trufflemores](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trufflemores/gifts).



> trufflemores prompted: "a parrot/hawk/eagle/owl taking a liking to Kurt or Blaine’s sunglasses at a zoo"

"Okay, does anyone know the name of this species?" The tour guide, Tori, smiles cheerily at her group, counting to three in her head to allow for an answer. The aviary at Brookfield Zoo is mostly empty, except for this group, and they’ve been so attentive and informed at every stop in her tour that she doesn’t expect this will take long. She slides a very large leather glove over her forearm while she waits.

"Is it an eagle owl?" Blaine raises his hand like they’re in middle school and bounces on his toes to be seen amongst the taller people in their group, even though he and Kurt are in front. His big hazel eyes dart from the tour guide’s face back to the large, intimidating, yellow-eyed bird on the perch next to her. Kurt rolls his eyes affectionately at his enthusiasm, sliding his Ray-Bans up to the top of his head so he can get a better look at the bird. 

"It is, very good!" Tori says, grinning at him. She loves enthusiastic guests like Blaine. They make her job so much easier. "This particular owl’s name is Constantine. The Eurasian eagle owl, scientific name _bubo bubo_ —”

Kurt snorts, because that is the silliest “scientific” name he’s ever heard.

"—is found all over Europe and the northern half of Asia. They’re one of the largest species of owl, with a wingspan of up to 188 centimeters. That’s a little over six feet! Now, Blaine," — she remembers his name from several of his answered questions earlier — "would you like to meet Constantine?"

Blaine lights up and hands his zoo map to Kurt. “Yes, oh my god, of course I would!”

Tori beckons Blaine forward and hands him a large leather glove that matches her own. He slides it on over his left arm and holds it up in front of his chest, turning proudly towards the group.

Constantine turns his head towards Blaine and stares curiously at him, blinking those gigantic circular eyes. Blaine looks back and waves with his un-gloved hand, then beams at Kurt, so excited that it looks like he might fly right out of his purple polo shirt. Kurt readies his phone for a picture.

"Now, Blaine, hold your arm steady in front of you. Yes, just like that. He weighs about six pounds, so you should be able to support him just fine. No sudden movements, okay?"

"Got it," Blaine nods, and his bicep bulges a little as he braces his arm for Constantine’s weight.

Tori holds out a little piece of meat in front of Constantine, and he steps forward onto her arm in order to reach it.

This really is a rather large bird, Kurt notices, snapping a photo of Blaine looking up at Constantine in awe. He’s easily ten times larger than Pavarotti was, bless his tiny yellow soul, and has such an intense, predatory look in his eyes, as if every human in their tour is potential prey and he’s just exercising restraint.

Tori holds her arm next to Blaine’s, and hands Blaine a little piece of meat. “Remember, Blaine, keep your arm steady and he’ll be perfectly comfortable coming to you.”

Blaine holds the piece of meat just far enough from the owl to encourage him to step forward, and gamely supports his weight as he wraps his large talons around Blaine’s gloved arm.

Blaine is _delighted_ , and Kurt knows Tori’s explicit instruction to make no sudden moves is the only thing keeping Blaine from bouncing up and down again with this huge bird perched on his arm. The other guests make impressed noises and snap pictures.

Constantine turns towards Kurt, and Kurt is surprised to see the bird staring directly at his face. He looks up from his phone, and the bird hoots loudly at him, staring just above his eyeline.

Blaine laughs, keeping his arm steady. “He likes you, Kurt! This is my boyfriend, Kurt,” he adds proudly to Tori, who smiles back while watching Constantine carefully.

Constantine stands up on Blaine’s arm and stretches out his wings with another loud hoot, and Blaine ducks his head to avoid that massive six-foot wingspan as it expands in front of him. Kurt quickly snaps another picture, then goes completely still as the bird suddenly _screeches_ at him and starts flapping its wings.

"Oh my god, what’s wrong with it?! Tori? Blaine?"

Constantine leans forward and starts pecking at the sunglasses on top of Kurt’s head.

Kurt backs up immediately, whimpering in fear, but the owl just gets more agitated and tries to chase after him. Blaine steps forward, trying to hide his laughter and failing miserably as he keeps the owl on his arm. “Kurt, it’s okay, just stay still!”

Kurt stops moving, his eyes wide open and staring at Blaine’s face as Blaine takes another step forward.

Constantine tilts his head at the sunglasses and screeches again, the tufted feathers on either side of his head raised high. He plucks the sunglasses from Kurt’s head but doesn’t keep a tight grasp on them, and they crash to the floor at Kurt’s feet.

Tori and Blaine laugh. “Oh, I think he saw himself in your sunglasses, Kurt!” Tori says. “He thought it was a rival eagle owl. See, they don’t tolerate that the way some cats or dogs might, if they see themselves in a mirror. He’s a solitary predator, like a leopard, and he can’t have another owl in his territory.”

Kurt takes a deep breath, “Okay, okay, Blaine, are you done? Can we let Constantine go back to his nest or whatever?” He wants to retrieve his sunglasses, but Constantine’s watching him again, and he doesn’t want this stupid bird mistaking _him_ for a threat next.

"Okay Kurt, just take one more picture?" Blaine slowly raises his arm-perch and smiles, pointing a finger at the owl and positively _beaming._

Kurt’s shaking, just a little, and in his haste to snap this one last picture and get the hell out of this stupid bird house, he accidentally swipes the flash on.

The sudden light sends Constantine into overdrive again, and he raises up, only one foot clinging to Blaine’s arm as he flaps and flaps his wings. He’s squawking at his loudest, disoriented by the camera flash and vaguely irritated by all the people gaping at him, and Tori finally takes him back from Blaine’s arm.

"I—I think that’s enough for now. Let’s let him calm down a little bit, shall we?" Tori places the owl back on his perch and Blaine backs away, his eyes wide as the bird continues freaking out.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Blaine asks, grabbing the sunglasses from the floor and handing them back to Kurt.

"We’re done here, right?" Kurt hisses at Blaine, glaring at the bird as if _daring_ it to make another attack.

Constantine ruffles his feathers but makes no more moves, still eyeing Kurt suspiciously.

"That’s what I thought," Kurt snaps, sliding the sunglasses over his eyes and marching towards the door of the aviary. He really should have learned his lesson after the cow incident at the dairy farm last year, or after the alpaca fiasco the year before that, but he swears, seriously _swears:_ this is the very last time he lets Blaine sign them up for a private tour at a zoo.


End file.
